Talkin’ American Office Canadian Network Blues

So I’ve become deeply obsessed with the American version of The Office. Remember before it came out, when everyone was singing all 12 verses of “How Dare They” and explaining how wretched & unfunny & clunky it was going to be, an embarrassment to all involved? Guess reflexive dismissiveness isn’t always the smart call. I loved the British version, but I love the American one more, partly because its milieu is closer to mine (as this article argues), but mainly because it makes better use of the supporting cast and is more nuanced.

Problem: the season premiere airs tonight, following up on last season’s cliffhanger, and I’m outta luck. You see, the Canadian network Global has rights to The Office, and the show is nowhere to be found in their Thursday night listings. If I had basic cable, I could just watch it on NBC, but I do not have basic cable.

(I may as well note here that I also had the misfortune of relying on Global for supporting my Arrested Development habit – when they did begin airing the show, tardily and irregularly, they also aired the episodes in an apparently random order.)

Anyway, when I’m obsessed, I do stupid & wasteful things.

I’ll paste my brief correspondence with Global on this matter below. Not because I think my whining does me any credit (in general, when you find yourself using the phrase “this Emmy-winning show,” you should realize that you’re starting to splutter), but because I’m actually chucklingly impressed with the nameless Viewer Relations Associate’s speed and patience.

I.

From: DW
To: Viewer Relations (CIII)
Subject: The Office

Dear folks at Global,

So I see that the season premiere of The Office is airing this Thursday -- but NOT, according to my local listings, on Global. Just wondering if you’re planning on actually running this Emmy-winning show, and if so, when? Maybe I should just finally order proper cable so I can simply watch NBC and never have to rely on Global again.

DW

II.

From: "Viewer Relations (CIII)
To: DW
Subject: RE: The Office

Both My Name Is Earl and The Office do not fit into our schedule at this point in time. We are holding on to the episodes for future use. Until then, please tune to NBC at 8pm tonight to catch the Premiere episodes.

~Viewer Relations

III.

From: DW
To: Viewer Relations (CIII)
Subject: Re: RE: The Office

You do realize how insane it is that two hit Emmy-winning shows “do not fit into your schedule,” right?

IV.

From: Viewer Relations (CIII)
To: DW
Subject: RE: RE: The Office

We realize that these are two popular shows and will definitely be airing them at some point later on in the season.